Short Story

I wanted to post a picture of me with some of my gals.

I have hesitated putting this story on my website…I’ve decided at the age of 55, I need to finish college. So, rather than attending classes all day away from my family, I have decided to earn my degree online. This may very likely take me 8 years. Deciding what to have my emphasis in, was tricky.  I stink at writing….but I want to get good. That is the emphasis I chose. Very scary. It is a struggle to eek out the writing assignments my professors request but very rewarding at the same time. I have decided to share my first attempt at writing, here. Be kind in your critiquing! It is very amateur, but after receiving a high score on this particular piece and the professor asking if I was going to publish it, I decided to take the plunge and expose my attempt at writing. Ya have to start somewhere right?  I will post the short story in segments.


Short Story­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­


by Julie Valentine

            The muggy air had a heavy, stifling feeling causing Rand discomfort as he tried to suck in breath. His muscled body carried excess belly fat indicative of aging. His weight and hairy body, made him well aware of the surrounding sweltering conditions. But no matter; he was here and his buddies back home could eat their hearts out. He had been pleasantly surprised to see a couple of lovely young ladies on the tour with him. Back in the days of his football prowess, he was every woman’s desire. Age had been fairly kind to him and he was definitely going to use it to his advantage with these two sweet things. The lush green vegetation was dense causing some difficulty in getting closer to the women as they hiked up to a waterfall.

Rand had learned through cunning questioning that the two girls had won their trip to Belize through a sales agency they worked for. He hadn’t been so lucky with handouts; instead he’d whipped out the credit card to fund this excursion. Seeing these girls, it appeared to him that this was all going to be worth the debt.

Walking along the trail was proving arduous as the mud collected on his favorite pair of Doc Martins. Hiking boots would have been a better choice in these conditions but sometimes you needed to sacrifice to look good. And Rand always wanted to look good.  That would be a selling point of himself to these women, if he could just get close to them. He rubbed the “designer stubble” on his jaw and eyed his group. One scrawny guy, by the name of Clifford, with close cropped hair, and wearing island clothes, was really getting on his nerves. The guy hovered around Brooke and Sierra like a puppy looking for praise. He had been chafing Rand the wrong way this whole trip. The geek was constantly annoying the girls. He was making it difficult for Rand to get acquainted with them.

After some maneuvering, Rand found himself getting close to the girls. That Brooke was one fine looking chick, he thought. Her slender frame was well proportioned with smooth golden skin. Glancing between the two girls, his eyes rested on Brooke, her blond hair fell in front of her face as she glanced at Sierra.  The girl must feel self conscious being around a mature, good-looking male, Rand thought. He plucked one of the wildflowers slightly off the trail and walked toward Brooke. The incessant heat was bothering him. Sweat was pouring down his body as he neared the girls. The hair on his legs itched. Rivulets of sweat slide down the sides of his head as he swiped at his face with a meaty hand. Periodic animal sounds surrounded the group of a dozen tourists. Occasionally a snapping twig underfoot would accompany the chirping or cawing, but nothing motorized could be heard.

Brooke leaned into Sierra and spoke softly, “That fur on his legs makes me want to gag. Plus, the guy is still living in the eighties, look at that head of big hair.”

“Careful Brooke, he’s going to think you’re checking him out.” Sierra said.

Brooke still stared at his legs, “He should shave those legs, stuff could get lost in there.”

“If you don’t stop gawking, he is totally going to get the wrong idea,” warned Sierra.

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6 Responses to Short Story

  1. Tiffany says:

    I love it! Can’t wait to read the rest of the story.

  2. Diane Robinson says:

    Julie! This is good! keep them coming!

  3. juliefeb14 says:

    That is a sweet thing to say Tiff!!

  4. Kelsey says:

    Wow, mom! I knew you were hiding this talent! I”m excited to see the rest!

  5. Michelle says:

    Aunt Julie you are such a good writer! I hope there is more to come :)

  6. Sandi says:

    Cliff hanger! It drew me in I want to hear the rest. It made me so curious, I want to know more!
    (And the photo: looks like Charlie’s Angels. Beautiful ladies)

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